— 24 Carrot Cake —

This is a cake. This is a cake made of carrots. Carrots are vegetables. Vegetables are good for you. Ergo, this carrot cake is good for you. Plus, it’s really, really good.

— Cheesecake for Two —

To maintain our self respect we have to call this a cheesecake for two just because it would be completely decadent to eat a whole one by one’s self, with all its creamy cheesy goodness and an overtone of Madagascar vanilla (from the island, not the movie). But of course, we’ve all done it before. Maybe. We really won’t think poorly of you if you eat one all by yourself.

— Cookies-n-Cream —

A freshly baked chocolate chip cookie of prodigious diameter served hot out of our Easy-Bake oven (powered by a 40-watt light bulb) in a lethal cast iron skillet with French vanilla ice cream. Give us a few minutes to make this: mom’s baking these to order, and you know how she gets when she’s rushed!

— Pie of the Day —

Empanada del día, Pastei van de dag, Secteur du jour, Torte des Tages, or Grafico a torta del giorno — whatever you call it, it’s gonna be pretty damn good. Ask your server about their pie today. It’s a skilletful of pie. Share if you like.

Please call restaurant to ensure item availability. Like Nixon said, you can feed all of the people some of the time….